About Me…..

So what can I say about me…. Where do I start? Well of course not going talk about my birth but guess I could talk about before my birth. My mom met a guy name Terry, her and him were together for maybe a couple of month before they had a accident (sadly it was me). Terry, who is my “father”, cheated on my mother. My mom found this out when she walk in on him and another girl doing it on the couch. (Her name Amy and they are marry now) He try to tell my mom stories and all, but she told him about me in her stomach and he thought basically Oh Shit! (Funny really) Terry didn’t want to pay for child support so he took his fist and try to kill me and basically my mom as well. (Here the funny part) My mom however had a steel frying pan and whack him on the side of the head, this cause ol’ Terry to fly underneath a table. (See why this part funny?) Then the next day my mom packed up everything and left him. Then couple months later came me! (Wasn’t that the best day ever….. No) After my mom left the hospital she went back to my dad, aka I call him sperm donor like my mom does, and she asked him if he would like to see me. He said no and wouldn’t even look at me through the car window. Me and my mom had a lot of problems before I was 2, but luckily I had a great papaw and a mamaw who wasn’t really my grandmother by marriage, but by heart. They took care of me and my mom til we found my step dad. I get told he fell for me first but most likely my mom cause it just sounds weird. I was a sweet and happy girl, butttttttttt….. I was and is weird. When I was , my papaw took me to a park after school since mom and my dad, aka stepdad, was working. That was a great day til I found out it very weird to randomly kiss a little boy boo-boo. This boy was running then fell down and I was too sweet where I said (this is what I was told I said) “can I kiss your boo-boo, my mommy kisses my boo-boo and they fell better,” and that what I did, I’m surprised his mother who was watching me kiss her son’s knee didn’t stop me same for my papaw, but I’m just too sweet, I guess. When I turned 8, I already had a sister who was the demon in my life, she took my mom and dad attention away so I messed with her til she wanted to punch me. This red head little girl was the thing that messed up my spot light. Anyway……. when I was 8 I started to notice how my hair color and eyes was different from my dad, but I thought hey my mom has this and that so guess that why. It was til I was 11 that I found out he ain’t my dad, he was my step father. This shocked me, even made me question my entire life so far. I told people I found out when I was younger like 7 or 8 but only cause I seen like a idiot…. Cause guess who didn’t stop believing in Santa or the Easter bunny til she was 12??? Truly I’m a idiot and gullible. But of course when and before I turned a teen, aka 13, I started having a lot of depression, I found out I’m bipolar as crap. The depression came with the thoughts of being uncared for and unwanted by my sperm donor, I know what he did, but not even wanting to see a little girl with your genes in her is sad and low for any father or guy, at least in my head. I had so many questions and I still do. I have a half sister and brother who have not even a clue of who I am. My sister is 17 and my brother is 21, both still don’t know me and will never know me til I reach out to them. I tried many times before, but nothing worked. My brother wouldn’t believe it and my sister definitely don’t believe it. But to me now, I’m a dirty blonde and changing color eye girl who has depression and is bipolar. Plus I’m losing all my friends, but not my boyfriend thankful. My depression is getting better, I was once a cutter, and I have accidents very rarely, but mostly I’m better all thanks to my boyfriend and my baby brother. Truly without them I don’t know where I be. Well this is me and if you don’t like me then that’s alright cause I have people here who do. And I understand if you don’t. Well bye, see you in the next blog….

~15yogirl

P.s. sorry for my grammer I’m not good at grammer.